I often wonder to myself if it’s even worth it. I mean, would life just be simpler if I didn’t have to work so hard at being intentional? And the fact is, all of the Christian life IS intentional! Whether it’s our jobs, our relationships, our possessions, our very salvation, we are called time and time again toward intentionality. It’s not something new that we’re dreaming up with CTM, we’re just doing the best we can with what we’ve got to pursue what that looks like right here, right now. And I find that in asking the question, "Wouldn’t it be easier to just not be intentional?" I am in fact asking the question, "Wouldn’t life be easier without my salvation? Without God? Without a relationship with the risen Christ?" And if I’m truly honest, I must say that sometimes, I think that it would be easier to simply choose myself, pursue my own goals, live for my own interests and not have to think deeply about or work hard for anything. But then I ask myself whether or not that would be worth it, whether or not it would be fulfilling. And I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that it would not be. Because I look around at our culture, I look over my own limited experience, I look at people that I know intimately who are pursuing themselves rather than intentionally pursuing God and I see their lack of fulfillment. I see that if we have nothing greater than ourselves to live for, we have nothing great to live for at all. I see that we may find things that temporarily fill us up, but when they wear off we need more of ________, fill in the blank. I see that the only thing in this world that is remotely satisfying and fulfilling is the Lord. And when I am reminded of that, I resolve to continue to pursue Him and all the intentionality that it requires.

I know it’s hard, but I also know it’s worth it. And because it’s worth it, I will keep pressing onward towards being intentional in my relationships, in my job, with my possessions, and with CTM. Let us all press onward into Christ.

Fact:  God created EVERYTHING including human beings, and created it to be good.  But sin entered the world and corrupted it all, the earth and all it’s inhabitants.  The good relationship that we had with God was cut off due to our disobedience.  Genesis 1, 2, and  3 record these turn of events.

Fact:  We are sinners separated from God because we love ourselves too much, we distort and deny His truth, refuse His authority in our lives, and fight against Him with everything we have.  Romans 5 says that we are helpless ungodly sinners, enemies toward God.  Ephesians 2 says we are spiritually dead transgressors of the law and children of wrath.  Colossians 1 says that we are a part of the "kingdom of darkness".

Fact:  God seeks to restore relationship with people who reject Him by first sending prophets who call the people back to God and are ultimately stoned, beaten, mocked, tortured, and even killed.  But those were simply a foreshadow of what He was actually preparing to do to, send His Own Son, God Himself, to earth to live among us, draw us to Himself, live the life we are incapable of living and die the death that we should die, taking our punishment upon Himself.  Luke’s gospel account has a great parable by Jesus Himself explaining what God had done, is doing, and will do in the future with regards to our sinfulness (Luke 20:9-18).

Fact:  Jesus paid our debts, gave us undeserved life, and a second chance to live in the light of the cross, but we still often turn back to our idols, mistrust His love for us, or even try to again reject Him as the ultimate authority in our lives.  Yet 2 Corinthians 5, at the end of the chapter, tells us that He gave us His righteousness.  Romans 8 tells us that there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God, both internal and external.  And 2 Peter 1 says that He has given us everything that we need for life and godliness.  Yet there are still times when we recoil and say, "No, that can’t possibly be the way that it goes!"  But He doesn’t change His standards or His way for us to meet them.

Does that make sense?  That a good and holy God would create a people who would ultimately reject Him, then come and die for those same people who still reject Him?  It seems foolish to die for someone who still wouldn’t love you.  But He did…and our response should become one of adoration, praise, a desire to serve Him, and a willingness to follow Him wherever He goes.  That was Peter’s conundrum and response in John 13:1-20.  In this chapter, Jesus’ death by crucifixion is drawing near and He is giving some final instructions, encouragements, and exhortations to His disciples finishing by praying for them and for those who would come after them (us).  But to start, He removes His outer garments, takes a towel, wraps it around His waist and begins to wash His disciples feet.  Understand that their feet would not have been as clean as ours are at the end of a day, ours might be stinky because they were in shoes and socks all day, but theirs had been in sandals walking through dust and dirt, likely animal excrement, maybe cut from a rock or two, their feet were dirty in a way that we can’t often conceptualize.  Most often, the person who would bring water for cleaning one’s feet would be the lowliest of slaves, often even a Gentile or Samaritan because Jews looked down on them as being inferior one very way.  This is what Jesus is doing, taking the form of the lowliest of slaves, to do the most heinous of tasks for His disciples.  Watch Peter’s reaction in verses 6 through 8 "’Lord, do you wash my feet?’  Jesus answered and said to Him, ‘What I do you do not realize now, but you will understand hereafter.’  Peter said to Him, ‘Never shall you wash my feet!’"  Do you see that?  Peter first asks Him what in the world He’s doing not because he can’t see it for himself, but because it doesn’t make sense that this Man he’d been following and had confessed to be the Son of God would lower Himself to such a position.  Not only does it not make sense to Peter, but when it comes to his turn, he recoils and says "No!  I want no part of such foolishness Jesus!  Get up and act like the king you are!"  What Jesus says to Peter next and Peter’s reaction go hand in hand, "Jesus answered him, ‘If I do not wash you, you have no part with me.’  Simon Peter said to Him, ‘Lord, then wash not only my feet, but also my hands and my head.’"  Jesus basically tells Peter that if he does not participate in this seeming foolishness, Peter would have no part with Him.  I don’t know if Peter’s response is immediate or not, it would seem to be and would fit with his personality, but his response is one that exclaims "I desperately want to have a part with you, therefore wash even more of me, not just my feet!"  And as the story goes on, we see that the attitude the disciples have despite this seeming foolishness is one of adoration, praise, a desire to serve and a willingness to follow Him wherever He goes, even if it means death.

How do you respond to the "foolishness" of God?  Do you recoil as Peter did, but stay there saying, "No, I must work for my salvation and meet you, you can’t come to meet me!"?  Or do you jump in head first as Peter also did saying, "Then wash all of me!  I desperately want to have a part with you!"?  Our wisdom says that we must work our way to God, God’s foolishness says that He will come down and meet us where we’re at, in the state we’re in and those things are incompatible.  One last thought for you from 1 Corinthians 1:25 "…the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men."

In Colossians 1:13-23, we have a phenomenal passage regarding Christ’s deity, creativity, relationship to the Father, and purpose in coming into the world, "…to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His cross." (verse 20a, italics added)  The only way to truly alleviate poverty is to understand and apply the reconciliation of Christ’s cross.  In the book, the authors give the following definition of poverty alleviation, "Poverty alleviation is the ministry of reconciliation: moving people closer to glorifying God by living in right relationship with God, with self, with others, and with the rest of creation." (When Helping Hurts, page 78)  In our personal lives, we’ve been discussing and reflecting upon the love, grace, and mercy that the Lord has shown each of us corporately and individually.  Being reminded of familiar verses like Romans 5:8 which says, "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."  And Ephesians 2:1-10, specifically verses 1,4, and 5 which say, "And you were dead in your trespasses and sins…but God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He has loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)…"  And 2 Corinthians 5:21, "He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him."  Look at those verses, what stands out the most?  The fact that we were unacceptable to God, sinners dead in our transgressions and sins.  But the amazing thing is…we are accepted.  God chose to send Jesus to pay the penalty for our sins on the cross and take away the wrath of God, that we might stand before Him blameless because of Christ’s sacrifice.

Tim Keller, a pastor and author from Redeemer Presbyterian church in New York City, makes this statement about the gospel, "The gospel of justifying faith means that while Christians are, in themselves still sinful and sinning, yet in Christ, in God’s sight, they are accepted and righteous.  So we can say that we are more wicked than we ever dared believe, but more loved and accepted in Christ than we ever dared hope — at the very same time.  This creates a radical new dynamic for personal growth.  It means that the more you see your own flaws and sins, the more precious, electrifying, and amazing God’s grace appears to you.  But on the other hand, the more aware you are of God’s grace and acceptance in Christ, the more able you are to drop your denials and self-defenses and admit the true dimensions and character of your sin."  Do you hear that?  We are more unloveable than we ever feared, but more loved than we ever hoped.  And reflecting on the fact of God’s love in Christ has brought about a different kind of brokenness in each of the CTM staff members which we are using to fight the paralyzing and crushing brokenness that sin brings.  When a parent is asked why they love their screaming, selfish, grumpy child anyhow, they will often respond with, "Because they are mine."  In our relationship with God, we are those children and one might ask, "Why does He continue to put up with us when we are so self-indulgent, ungrateful, and unwilling to give Him the glory He deserves?"  He responds with, "…I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!" (Isaiah 43:1b)

The CTM team has grown.  In the past year, as we’ve been evaluating where CTM is at and what we are doing, we have added a few new people to our team who functioning in various roles under the umbrella of Certain Truth Ministries.  Stateside, it is still Micah and Christa Forysthe along with myself (Eli Denison) and we’ve invited our dear friends Jonathan and Caitlin Phillips to join us as we are getting our feet underneath us.  Jonathan and Caitlin attended MWSB along with myself under the teaching of Micah and Christa as they were staff members when we were students.  They were both Venture students the following year (2008-2009), where they learned more about leadership through classes and honing their skills with the first year students.  Jonathan and Caitlin were married in November 2011.  Additionally, I was blessed with an opportunity to meet a young lady at the school last year named Sandra Waldner who has an incredible testimony and a heart for the Lord and His children.  She decided to pursue living in Africa for a year working at an orphanage in Uganda and became CTM’s first full-time missionary.  You can read about her time in Uganda here http://sandrasjourney-inmyshoes.blogspot.com/

Pastor David continues to work.  While this isn’t exactly a change, it’s a continuation, the work that he is continuing to do in and around Kitale, Kenya is changing lives.  When I took Sandra to Uganda, I visited him in Kenya briefly and was able to meet the many children that are attending our school and see how they are growing and learning because of the work that he is doing there.  Our most recent goal has been to build a permanent school house, because right now, the children are meeting in a temporary school house made out of tin roofing.  We are praying toward that end.

CTM has moved.  When CTM came into being, it was started by Micah and myself, run out of our office at MWSB and we had meetings around the dinner table in his house.  What we’ve realized in this past year is that we want to get serious about what we are doing, not just playing around with a side project.  And as we began praying toward that end, the Lord led us away from MWSB and down to Bozeman, Montana where we’ve been in a process of getting settled in here.  Because of that, we have a new address:  Certain Truth Ministries, PO Box 10121, Bozeman, MT 59719.  

As we continue to settle into our routines here and figure out the particulars of what CTM looks like long-term, we will keep you updated with what is going on.  My hope and plan is that this blog will be updated much more frequently and consistently as well.  Look for posts that delve deeper into what we believe as an organization, devotionals, different books that we are reading or studying, and more information on each of the people involved with CTM.  God bless you until then!

1)  When I first went to Kenya, it was simply from a desire to see the gospel become more manifest in my life, call it "practical theology" if you will.  Basically, I wanted to live the things that I claimed to believe, rather than just spouting off theological niceties or rhetoric.  And that desire led me into a friendship with a lady in Alaska, which in turn led me into fellowship with a Kenyan pastor named David.  I visited him in December of 2008, on my own, self-funded, without a plan, just a desire to experience life alongside him and the children he cares for.  And God gave me many opportunities to do that and more, by providing them with a dairy cow and calf, purchasing the land that they were renting, and opening up several opportunities to preach the gospel.  It was one thing for me to say, "Yes, I believe that God is with me wherever I go." and just continue my average American life, and wholly another thing to actually be sitting in the Chicago airport realizing that I have no one to lean on or trust in except God.

2)  Secondly, during that first trip, I spent much time contemplating Scripture and the implications of it, and ended up spending quite a bit of time reflecting on 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 which states "If I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  And if I give all my possessions to fee the poor, an if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing." (NASB)  I realized that going to Kenya on my own, without a plan, and just seeing what God would do through me in the lives of Pastor David and the children was a good place to start, but I couldn’t leave it there.  This portion of Scripture (which is consistent with the rest) states that I can do all kinds of things like that, but if I don’t do it with love, it is meaningless.  I began asking myself the question, "What does it look like to show love to these people?"  And God prompted me to begin fundraising to build and establish a proper children’s home for the kids.  So I did.  Eventually the building process started in September of 2009 and I was able to assist and be a part of it in December of 2009 as well.

3)  Thirdly, I am doing this work because I want to know more about what it means to truly show love.  Now, I’m not married, nor do I have any prospects to become so, but what I understand from talking to many married people, reading books on the subject, and being taught by some very godly people here at MWSB, is that love, real love, means commitment.  In Hollywood, the consensus is that everyone "falls in love" or "falls out of love" kinda like they were walking along and didn’t see that huge hole in front of them and  just stepped in it.  But what I understand from experience and from Scripture more importantly, is that we make a choice to love.  Sometimes continuing in that choice is easy, and other times it is much more difficult, but continuing in it is always worthwhile.  Having grown up with more of a "Hollywood mindset" it has been a challenge for me to grow in my understanding of the biblical mindset, ultimately though it comes back to saying, I want what I say I believe to match up with what I live.  So I continue in this work in order to learn more about what it means to truly love.

4)  Fourthly, I am pursuing this work, doing this work, and continuing this work because I’ve felt compelled to be involved in missions-type work since I was seventeen and I don’t feel compelled to stop yet.  I am forming CTM for the purpose of pursuing this work more whole heartedly and for building up that same passion in others who feel similarly called.  To provide opportunities to serve, to go, to grow, and to be transformed through practical theology.

5)  Lastly, and most importantly, I am doing this work for this reason: "…the love of Christ controls us,, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might now longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf."  2 Corinthians 5:14-15 NASB  I do this because of what Christ did for me, it’s not an effort to earn His love or to pay Him back for it, it is simply an outpouring of thankfulness on my part toward Him.  "I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but He lives in me.  The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me."  Galatians 2:20