I often wonder to myself if it’s even worth it. I mean, would life just be simpler if I didn’t have to work so hard at being intentional? And the fact is, all of the Christian life IS intentional! Whether it’s our jobs, our relationships, our possessions, our very salvation, we are called time and time again toward intentionality. It’s not something new that we’re dreaming up with CTM, we’re just doing the best we can with what we’ve got to pursue what that looks like right here, right now. And I find that in asking the question, "Wouldn’t it be easier to just not be intentional?" I am in fact asking the question, "Wouldn’t life be easier without my salvation? Without God? Without a relationship with the risen Christ?" And if I’m truly honest, I must say that sometimes, I think that it would be easier to simply choose myself, pursue my own goals, live for my own interests and not have to think deeply about or work hard for anything. But then I ask myself whether or not that would be worth it, whether or not it would be fulfilling. And I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that it would not be. Because I look around at our culture, I look over my own limited experience, I look at people that I know intimately who are pursuing themselves rather than intentionally pursuing God and I see their lack of fulfillment. I see that if we have nothing greater than ourselves to live for, we have nothing great to live for at all. I see that we may find things that temporarily fill us up, but when they wear off we need more of ________, fill in the blank. I see that the only thing in this world that is remotely satisfying and fulfilling is the Lord. And when I am reminded of that, I resolve to continue to pursue Him and all the intentionality that it requires.

I know it’s hard, but I also know it’s worth it. And because it’s worth it, I will keep pressing onward towards being intentional in my relationships, in my job, with my possessions, and with CTM. Let us all press onward into Christ.

Fact:  God created EVERYTHING including human beings, and created it to be good.  But sin entered the world and corrupted it all, the earth and all it’s inhabitants.  The good relationship that we had with God was cut off due to our disobedience.  Genesis 1, 2, and  3 record these turn of events.

Fact:  We are sinners separated from God because we love ourselves too much, we distort and deny His truth, refuse His authority in our lives, and fight against Him with everything we have.  Romans 5 says that we are helpless ungodly sinners, enemies toward God.  Ephesians 2 says we are spiritually dead transgressors of the law and children of wrath.  Colossians 1 says that we are a part of the "kingdom of darkness".

Fact:  God seeks to restore relationship with people who reject Him by first sending prophets who call the people back to God and are ultimately stoned, beaten, mocked, tortured, and even killed.  But those were simply a foreshadow of what He was actually preparing to do to, send His Own Son, God Himself, to earth to live among us, draw us to Himself, live the life we are incapable of living and die the death that we should die, taking our punishment upon Himself.  Luke’s gospel account has a great parable by Jesus Himself explaining what God had done, is doing, and will do in the future with regards to our sinfulness (Luke 20:9-18).

Fact:  Jesus paid our debts, gave us undeserved life, and a second chance to live in the light of the cross, but we still often turn back to our idols, mistrust His love for us, or even try to again reject Him as the ultimate authority in our lives.  Yet 2 Corinthians 5, at the end of the chapter, tells us that He gave us His righteousness.  Romans 8 tells us that there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God, both internal and external.  And 2 Peter 1 says that He has given us everything that we need for life and godliness.  Yet there are still times when we recoil and say, "No, that can’t possibly be the way that it goes!"  But He doesn’t change His standards or His way for us to meet them.

Does that make sense?  That a good and holy God would create a people who would ultimately reject Him, then come and die for those same people who still reject Him?  It seems foolish to die for someone who still wouldn’t love you.  But He did…and our response should become one of adoration, praise, a desire to serve Him, and a willingness to follow Him wherever He goes.  That was Peter’s conundrum and response in John 13:1-20.  In this chapter, Jesus’ death by crucifixion is drawing near and He is giving some final instructions, encouragements, and exhortations to His disciples finishing by praying for them and for those who would come after them (us).  But to start, He removes His outer garments, takes a towel, wraps it around His waist and begins to wash His disciples feet.  Understand that their feet would not have been as clean as ours are at the end of a day, ours might be stinky because they were in shoes and socks all day, but theirs had been in sandals walking through dust and dirt, likely animal excrement, maybe cut from a rock or two, their feet were dirty in a way that we can’t often conceptualize.  Most often, the person who would bring water for cleaning one’s feet would be the lowliest of slaves, often even a Gentile or Samaritan because Jews looked down on them as being inferior one very way.  This is what Jesus is doing, taking the form of the lowliest of slaves, to do the most heinous of tasks for His disciples.  Watch Peter’s reaction in verses 6 through 8 "’Lord, do you wash my feet?’  Jesus answered and said to Him, ‘What I do you do not realize now, but you will understand hereafter.’  Peter said to Him, ‘Never shall you wash my feet!’"  Do you see that?  Peter first asks Him what in the world He’s doing not because he can’t see it for himself, but because it doesn’t make sense that this Man he’d been following and had confessed to be the Son of God would lower Himself to such a position.  Not only does it not make sense to Peter, but when it comes to his turn, he recoils and says "No!  I want no part of such foolishness Jesus!  Get up and act like the king you are!"  What Jesus says to Peter next and Peter’s reaction go hand in hand, "Jesus answered him, ‘If I do not wash you, you have no part with me.’  Simon Peter said to Him, ‘Lord, then wash not only my feet, but also my hands and my head.’"  Jesus basically tells Peter that if he does not participate in this seeming foolishness, Peter would have no part with Him.  I don’t know if Peter’s response is immediate or not, it would seem to be and would fit with his personality, but his response is one that exclaims "I desperately want to have a part with you, therefore wash even more of me, not just my feet!"  And as the story goes on, we see that the attitude the disciples have despite this seeming foolishness is one of adoration, praise, a desire to serve and a willingness to follow Him wherever He goes, even if it means death.

How do you respond to the "foolishness" of God?  Do you recoil as Peter did, but stay there saying, "No, I must work for my salvation and meet you, you can’t come to meet me!"?  Or do you jump in head first as Peter also did saying, "Then wash all of me!  I desperately want to have a part with you!"?  Our wisdom says that we must work our way to God, God’s foolishness says that He will come down and meet us where we’re at, in the state we’re in and those things are incompatible.  One last thought for you from 1 Corinthians 1:25 "…the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men."

In Colossians 1:13-23, we have a phenomenal passage regarding Christ’s deity, creativity, relationship to the Father, and purpose in coming into the world, "…to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His cross." (verse 20a, italics added)  The only way to truly alleviate poverty is to understand and apply the reconciliation of Christ’s cross.  In the book, the authors give the following definition of poverty alleviation, "Poverty alleviation is the ministry of reconciliation: moving people closer to glorifying God by living in right relationship with God, with self, with others, and with the rest of creation." (When Helping Hurts, page 78)  In our personal lives, we’ve been discussing and reflecting upon the love, grace, and mercy that the Lord has shown each of us corporately and individually.  Being reminded of familiar verses like Romans 5:8 which says, "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."  And Ephesians 2:1-10, specifically verses 1,4, and 5 which say, "And you were dead in your trespasses and sins…but God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He has loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)…"  And 2 Corinthians 5:21, "He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him."  Look at those verses, what stands out the most?  The fact that we were unacceptable to God, sinners dead in our transgressions and sins.  But the amazing thing is…we are accepted.  God chose to send Jesus to pay the penalty for our sins on the cross and take away the wrath of God, that we might stand before Him blameless because of Christ’s sacrifice.

Tim Keller, a pastor and author from Redeemer Presbyterian church in New York City, makes this statement about the gospel, "The gospel of justifying faith means that while Christians are, in themselves still sinful and sinning, yet in Christ, in God’s sight, they are accepted and righteous.  So we can say that we are more wicked than we ever dared believe, but more loved and accepted in Christ than we ever dared hope — at the very same time.  This creates a radical new dynamic for personal growth.  It means that the more you see your own flaws and sins, the more precious, electrifying, and amazing God’s grace appears to you.  But on the other hand, the more aware you are of God’s grace and acceptance in Christ, the more able you are to drop your denials and self-defenses and admit the true dimensions and character of your sin."  Do you hear that?  We are more unloveable than we ever feared, but more loved than we ever hoped.  And reflecting on the fact of God’s love in Christ has brought about a different kind of brokenness in each of the CTM staff members which we are using to fight the paralyzing and crushing brokenness that sin brings.  When a parent is asked why they love their screaming, selfish, grumpy child anyhow, they will often respond with, "Because they are mine."  In our relationship with God, we are those children and one might ask, "Why does He continue to put up with us when we are so self-indulgent, ungrateful, and unwilling to give Him the glory He deserves?"  He responds with, "…I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!" (Isaiah 43:1b)

1)  When I first went to Kenya, it was simply from a desire to see the gospel become more manifest in my life, call it "practical theology" if you will.  Basically, I wanted to live the things that I claimed to believe, rather than just spouting off theological niceties or rhetoric.  And that desire led me into a friendship with a lady in Alaska, which in turn led me into fellowship with a Kenyan pastor named David.  I visited him in December of 2008, on my own, self-funded, without a plan, just a desire to experience life alongside him and the children he cares for.  And God gave me many opportunities to do that and more, by providing them with a dairy cow and calf, purchasing the land that they were renting, and opening up several opportunities to preach the gospel.  It was one thing for me to say, "Yes, I believe that God is with me wherever I go." and just continue my average American life, and wholly another thing to actually be sitting in the Chicago airport realizing that I have no one to lean on or trust in except God.

2)  Secondly, during that first trip, I spent much time contemplating Scripture and the implications of it, and ended up spending quite a bit of time reflecting on 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 which states "If I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  And if I give all my possessions to fee the poor, an if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing." (NASB)  I realized that going to Kenya on my own, without a plan, and just seeing what God would do through me in the lives of Pastor David and the children was a good place to start, but I couldn’t leave it there.  This portion of Scripture (which is consistent with the rest) states that I can do all kinds of things like that, but if I don’t do it with love, it is meaningless.  I began asking myself the question, "What does it look like to show love to these people?"  And God prompted me to begin fundraising to build and establish a proper children’s home for the kids.  So I did.  Eventually the building process started in September of 2009 and I was able to assist and be a part of it in December of 2009 as well.

3)  Thirdly, I am doing this work because I want to know more about what it means to truly show love.  Now, I’m not married, nor do I have any prospects to become so, but what I understand from talking to many married people, reading books on the subject, and being taught by some very godly people here at MWSB, is that love, real love, means commitment.  In Hollywood, the consensus is that everyone "falls in love" or "falls out of love" kinda like they were walking along and didn’t see that huge hole in front of them and  just stepped in it.  But what I understand from experience and from Scripture more importantly, is that we make a choice to love.  Sometimes continuing in that choice is easy, and other times it is much more difficult, but continuing in it is always worthwhile.  Having grown up with more of a "Hollywood mindset" it has been a challenge for me to grow in my understanding of the biblical mindset, ultimately though it comes back to saying, I want what I say I believe to match up with what I live.  So I continue in this work in order to learn more about what it means to truly love.

4)  Fourthly, I am pursuing this work, doing this work, and continuing this work because I’ve felt compelled to be involved in missions-type work since I was seventeen and I don’t feel compelled to stop yet.  I am forming CTM for the purpose of pursuing this work more whole heartedly and for building up that same passion in others who feel similarly called.  To provide opportunities to serve, to go, to grow, and to be transformed through practical theology.

5)  Lastly, and most importantly, I am doing this work for this reason: "…the love of Christ controls us,, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might now longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf."  2 Corinthians 5:14-15 NASB  I do this because of what Christ did for me, it’s not an effort to earn His love or to pay Him back for it, it is simply an outpouring of thankfulness on my part toward Him.  "I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but He lives in me.  The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me."  Galatians 2:20

It’s evening now, and we’ve just finished our Good Friday service here at the school.  We spent some time worshipping God in song, I shared briefly, and we watched The Passion of the Christ.  All relatively usual for Good Friday, but what really struck me tonight was the fact that we need to be living in light of the cross.  Too often people go to church just to hear the same thing that they usually hear, get their spiritual high, and then they go on with their life the way that they want to, and I am certainly no exception, I used to be an ETC. Christian myself (Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas).  I got my spiritual high/duties out of the way and I was ready to live how I wanted to live the rest of the time, doing what I wanted to do and not giving it another thought.  But tonight as we sang songs like "The Old Rugged Cross", "Sweetly Broken", and "What A Savior", I was struck by how the words we sing in worship are not just about the fact of the cross (which is the focal point to be sure) but also about living our lives in light of that fact…and i desperately want to do that with my life.  And as I think about the work that is going on in Kenya with Pastor David and the children there, I know that God is granting me opportunities to do just that.  When I support the work of a fellow missionary, God is giving me the opportunity to do just that.  When I serve others without expectation of repayment, God is giving me the opportunity to do just that.  The opportunities are everywhere, everyday, if we would only see them.

As i shared tonight, I read a short story written based upon the afore-mentioned verse.  And as I put myself in the story, it made me think about how I would live in light of the sacrifice given at the end of it.  I pray that as you read it, you will be challenged similarly.  It goes like this:

"I stared, dumbfounded at the paper I held in my hand.  I couldn’t believe it.  Half of the things that were on there I didn’t even remember doing.  What was on the paper?  All my sins.  And I mean ALL of them.  The ones that I knew as I committed them that I was sinning against God, and the ones that I didn’t really even think about when it happened.  They were all added up, and at the bottom of the paper, I saw what was due, I saw what needed to be paid, and it wasn’t just an arm and a leg.  No, it was all of me.  It was my life.  Because of my sins, I owed a lot.  And I couldn’t pay it.  There was no way I could pay my debt to God.  I sat down on the ground, buried my face in my hands and began to weep, crying to myself because of what I had done and what was required of me now, which I couldn’t do.

Through my tears, I saw a sandaled foot come into view.  I looked up and I saw Him.  He didn’t say anything, but I knew who He was.  His eyes pierced me to the core, and I knew that He was looking into my heart.  I wanted to apologize for everything.  I wanted to beg for forgiveness.  I wanted to grovel at His feet.  But I was unable.  I just looked back at Him, tears streaming down my face and clutching the paper in my hand.  My certificate of debt.  He smiled a sad sort of half smile and held out His hand.  I knew He wanted my paper, but I held it tighter, refusing to give it up.  He continued to stand there for a long time, hand outstreched, eyes looking deep into my soul.  I knew what He was offering, He wanted to pay my debt, but I couldn’t let Him do it. The cost was simply too high and I couldn’t let Him pay it for me, I was an unworthy sinner.  And yet, there was something in His eyes, something in His smile, something in His countanence that said, "I want to pay it for you."  Slowly, I reached up to hand Him my debt.  He gently grasped it and took it out of my hand.

Turning around, He placed my certificate of debt on the cross behind Him.  Picking up a hammer and three nails, He put one in the top corner of my debt and began to hammer it in.  He grimaced as though in pain as He pounded in the first nail, then I saw the blood running down His arm from the wound in His hand.  Finishing with the first, He placed the second nail in the other corner of my debt and began to hammer it in.  A new wound appeared in His other hand as He did this, and yet, He did not cry out, but continued.  Finally, He put the last nail in the bottom of the paper and pounded it in.  I looked down and saw the blood now running down His feet.  Being finished, He dropped the hammer and held out His hands so that I could see the wounds which marred His body.  I continued to cry, though not for myself as I had before, but for Him, because I realized that what He had done.  He paid the debt that I owed to God, with His life, His very own blood.  I fell onto my knees and began to worship Him, thanking Him profusely without words.  Again, He reached out His hand, with no sign of blood, but with fresh scars, this time, reaching out to me, asking me to join HIm.  Taking His hand, I stood up, and looking again into my eyes, He said softly, "It is finished."  And I knew it was.  My debt had been paid with His life.  The least I could do in return was give Him mine.  And so I did."  ~ACG

As you celebrate this Easter, I challenge you to live in light of Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection.  Give Him your life in return for Him giving His.  Happy Easter.

According to recent statistics, there are 147 million plus orphans in the world today.  There are a little over 6 billion people in the world, and approximately 4 billion of them profess Christ as Lord and Savior.  If that truly is the case, that there are 4 billion Christians, why are there 147 million children without anyone to care for them?  God’s Word clearly states in James 1:27 "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of God our father is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being unstained by the world." NASB  There are many instances in God’s Word that state His heart for fatherless children.  In the book of Deuteronomy alone, a book that indicates how His chosen people, the Jews, are to live, He references orphans eleven times.  The Bible also tells us in Hebrews 13:8 that Jesus Christ (God) is the same yesterday, today, and forever, therefore we can rightly assume that His heart does not change either.  God’s heart is for His people to stand up for the rights of and care for those who are the weakest and most down trodden.  If I believe God’s Word is true, then how is this command changing the way that I pursue the work of CTM?  Am I willing to put everything I have into it, in order to fulfill my King’s desires?

But It goes beyond just what we do, because Christianity is not something that we do, it’s a way of life, it’s who we are.  The word "Christian" itself literally means "Christ follower", but if we turn Christianity into a series of disconnected events in our lives, we are only Christ followers sometimes.  What does God say about those who only want to follow Him sometimes?  "I know your works: that you are neither cold nor hot.  Would that you either cold or hot!  So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, i will spit you out of my mouth." Revelation 3:15-16 ESV.  And I know that is is not new information, for those who attend church regularly and do Bible studies, you’ve heard this before, but I’m asking, do you believe it?  Read that verse again, and think about how your life would look different if you truly did believe it with your heart.  God is telling us that He wants us to either be on fire for Him one hundred percent or to reject Him completely, none of this fence-riding, "i’ll follow you sometimes, in some areas of my life" mindset.  And if I believe that, am I living it out?  Is my life one of whole-hearted passionate devotion to my God, or a lukewarm, lackluster belief in something that I think is probably true?

And that brings me to the real crux of the matter because this is what I’ve been wrestling with the most: what stops us from truly abandoning everything for God’s work (which takes several forms, I know that you lead a life of devotion here in the States as well as anywhere else because I’ve seen it)?  What keeps us from giving everything to Him?  And I think that there are two very serious reasons.  One, we wonder, deep down, if perhaps this life on this earth really is all that we get.  That maybe Christianity is not entirely true, and if that’s the case, we want to hold onto something so that we don’t lose out completely when we die.  And secondly, there is the fear that maybe God won’t provide, that we will jump out for Him to catch us and He will let us fall (which He absolutely won’t, His Word promises us that, but for the sake of argument, what if He did?) and we fall flat on our face.  Now please understand that I am asking these questions of myself, these are the questions that I’ve been wrestling with on my own for the past month or so.  But the crux of the matter is in the most memorized of all verses, John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life." NIV  If that is true, and you truly believe it with your heart, then you are saved the Bible says, and that proof of your salvation will begin to grow in your life.  But I want to ask you how much that sacrifice is worth.  Is it enough that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins, granting you a place in His eternal kingdom giving glory to Him with all the saints and angels forever, that you would give everything back to Him even if you never received another blessing from Him?  Is His sacrifice for your sins of great enough value that if it was all you got out of giving Him everything, you would still do it?  Do I place that kind of value on it?

As I’ve wrestled with that thought, and prayed over it, I can honestly say "Yes, it is."  Christ’s sacrifice is valuable enough to me that if it was all I got, I would still give Him everything I am.  But I have His great and precious promises that it isn’t all that I get, now that I am one of His children, He will never fail to provide for me and care for me, and that is something worth trusting in.  My prayer is that you begin to look at Scripture with a fresh perspective, asking yourself these questions, "Do I believe it?  If I do, how is that belief shaping and changing my life?"  and "How much do I value Christ’s sacrifice on the cross?"  because I guarantee that if you ask questions like this every time you read the Bible and pray over the answers, God will radically transform your heart and mind.

~Eli

Eli

CTM Newsletter-Eli

I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about this verse and what it means, what it looks like practically.  And I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s like a grubby homeless man.  Let me show you how I arrive at that conclusion.  There is a merchant who is and has been seeking fine pearls, assuming he’s been doing this for a while, he probably has a decent collection of nice pearls, costly gemstones, other things of value.  He is a merchant after all.  But one day, he finds a pearl that is more valuable than anything else he owns and in his desire to obtain that pearl, he sells EVERYTHING.  He sells his collection of other pearls and precious items, his merchant stand, his house, his camel, everything just so that he can have this pearl.  But once he does this, he has this pearl and nothing else which makes him homeless.  To me, that conjures up the image of a grubby homeless man sleeping behind a dumpster and when asked "Why are you homeless?" he holds our his hand and responds with a twinkle in his eye, "Because I gave everything in order to have this pearl.  It is more precious to me than anything else in this world."  A grubby homeless man who gave everything in order to have a pearl.

Jesus says that the kingdom of heaven is like that, something so valuable that a person would give everything in order to obtain it.  Which to me begs the question, do we have that mindset?  Are we willing to give everything in order to obtain this pearl of great value?  Or rather are we like a man who finds a pearl of great value, gives as little as possible to obtain it, then takes it around hoping that it will get him more to add to his collection?  All too often I fall into that second category, and I see the Christians around me doing the same.  Not wanting to give everything for the sake of knowing Christ, but rather claiming Christ in the hopes that it will get them to heaven, get them material wealth and prosperity, health, etc.  And I can’t help but know that that breaks Gods heart and is a slap in the face of the crucified Christ.  And that just kills me to know that I do that…what about you?

I’ve been reading lately about a young woman named Katie Davis who understands that preciousness of knowing Christ and has willingly sacrificed a great deal in order to care for "the least of these" in Uganda (you can read her blog by clicking on "The passionate pursuit of God continues…").  Her story challenges and encourages me immensely.  I’m challenged because her example causes me to examine where my heart is in the work I am doing in Kenya.  Am I just doing it just to do it?  Or am I doing it because it was a command of Christ and by trusting Him for the work I am being drawn closer to Him?  I am encouraged because as i think about my generation, I have to ask myself how many girls like Katie I know.  Or even how many guys who have a similar mindset.  And to be entirely honest, the lists are very short…  We have a great cloud of witnesses in those who have gone before, like Peter, Paul, the other disciples, Hudson Taylor, George Meuller, Brother Andrew,  Jim Elliot, and so many more.  But who in my generation is going to say, "I count ALL things as loss for the sake of knowing Christ!" (Philippians 3:7-11)?  Who?!

I’ve thought a lot about a verse in the song "Hosanna" by Hillsong United that says, "I see a generation/ rising up to take their place/ with selfless faith/ with selfless faith/ I see a near revival/ stirring as we pray and seek/ we’re on our knees/ we’re on our knees" and I want to know that it’s not just a cry of longing from the songwriter, but that it’s a tangible reality.  And I know that it has to start with someone, somewhere.  God, make me a vessel that you can use!  One that you can use to pout out on others your grace and love.  Break my heart for what breaks yours, and then use me to do something about those things.  I can’t live with mediocrity and complacency any longer, ignite an unquenchable fire in my heart and soul for these children and for the people around them.  Use me, use CTM in any way you choose.  Not my will, but yours.

~Eli

To listen to "Hosanna" click here Hosanna-Hillsong United.